i really dunnoe wat to do.

so what if i dun want?

im so used to the warmth.
but nah.
i cant promise forever.
i dunnoe how much love i can give you.
i dunnoe how much i can try.
tired of trying.
i dunnoe how much i can bring myself to put in that extra effort.

u say i say i suck but i dun bother trying to do better.
maybe that's just cos.
even if i try.
maybe that's all a facade.

i dun want to promise forever.
i cant promise forever.

i dun want to break my promise anymore.

it took me so long to figure out my feelings.
so long.

and i cant make up my mind.
all i can do is sleep and dream.

because somethings will never happen in reality.
no matter how much u wished.
how much u hope.
how much u tried.
how much u yearn for.
things will still be the same.


its hard to believe destiny didnt pave the route for us to walk.

Overview

You're the lion, known for being brave -- but you'd better muster up as much of that bravery as you possibly can now, because for the next several days, you'll be dealing with something far more stressful than a jealous lover. You'll need to handle misplaced directions, miscommunications and mistakes, all of which can lead to misunderstandings within relationships, be they romantic, platonic or professional. Yes, this could be tricky. Start mustering.

yea. so true. im just about to lose direction in everything.

painful tears, sad loneliness.







so there still are times when you feel so helpless and all you can do is stare into blank space and cry. why is love so hard.

have u ever missed me?
not you. but you.

december 12 2009

i posted this:
holiday has been really really happening.

friday
went to yujie's hse in the afternoon lolol played game of life :D i noe i noob la first time playing but im the millionaire okay! first la :D but retire with no children D: so sad. lolol alot of funny happenings but lazy to update here.
played taboo haha as usual, taboo can be damn funny


i dunnoe why but recently, i started to have dreams about you again.
obviously when i didn want to. and when im not thinking bout you.
but it occurs to me like i shouldn try too hard forgetting.
bcos no matter how much i try to conceal, deep inside i still have some feelings.
and wishing something else to happen besides moving on.

again and again i reminded myself not to think again.
and i wonder if that dream, no those dreams were to act as a reminder, or alert or warning or just trying to tell me not to give up.

watever. shouldn think too much.
shouln hope for anything either.
cos either will just fail me and sadden me again.






shall continue with my happy and busy life :D

end.

9 months down the road.
every single thing change.
every single bit of my life.
every single bit of my thought.
what bout my love?

nice song:

No wonder love is so difficult, I’m still clumsy

honestly, now I am used to the sadness that love seems far away

We are too similar, only being stupid

Sometimes we have to go separate ways and have to collide each other,

but…

Maybe it’s love,

whenever I see you, my heart is filled with emotions

You awoke my rusted and frozen heart

Please love me,

Please hold me,

even the pain I hide

So that painful tears and sad loneliness

wouldn’t come to me again

I am afraid to give my heart,

afraid of the pain that would follow.

It’s my heart that I trashed and kept for a while,

but…

When did you enter my heart, when did you fill it up

My heart with you fragrance, your memories

Maybe it’s love,

whenever I see you, my heart is filled with emotions

You awoke my rusted and frozen heart

Please love me,

Please hold me,

even the pain I hide

So that painful tears and sad loneliness

wouldn’t come to me again

The person that was hidden behind all the tears

The one and only person I have waited

for such a long time

Maybe it’s you,

when I’m with you

I’m smile even though I’m hurt

The person that healed my deep wounds and the tears

that were like my habit

I will show you,

I will give you all the love that I kept

So that words of loneliness and separation

wouldn’t exist between us

So that only love would remain

if only he really was long gone from my heart.

if only u didnt come along.

if only none of watever had happened has happened.

i'll still be the one waiting alone.

i dreamt of both of you alot of times recently.
the one i used to yearn for so much.
now seems so far away.
the one that i didnt expect to come along.
it seems like i made a wrong choice.
i noe it hurts for him.
so does for me.




watever the case.
both of their love.
seem so far.

no matter how hard i try to reach. i couldn.
i tried moving on to you. only to realisd part of my heart was left behind.
broken into pieces.
nowhere to go.













its a different kind of feeling. why is it so hard to figure out?

Like an fool, why didn't I know?
Like an fool, why did I let you go?
Like an foo, my heart cries slowly
I know now
My love is only you

Even if my eyes look for you
Even if my heart pressures me
I didn't believe that it was love
I believed that I was lonely and had to lean on you

Like an fool, why didn't I know?
Like an fool, why did I let you go?
Like an fool, my heart cries slowly
I know now
My love is only you

Let's not act like fools
Let's not heart ache alone
When tears fell because of the pain
I'd become upset with my heart for being so weak

Like an fool, why didn't I know?
Like an fool, why did I let you go?
Like an fool, my heart cries slowly
I know now

Do you know, that you are my love?
Do you know, that you fill my heart?
Like an idiot, I've just found out now
You, I call you

Because without you, I cannot live on